I just got this one in an email. Bad PUN-chline, but I still got a chuckle from it….
Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe… as it happens, near Transylvania. They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late and raining very hard. Bob could barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly, the car skids out of control! Bob attempts to control the car, but to no avail! The car swerves and smashes into a tree. Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees his wife unconscious, with her head bleeding!
Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows he has to get her medical assistance. Bob carefully picks his wife up and begins trudging down the road. After a short while, he sees a light. He heads towards the light, which is coming from a large, old house. He approaches the door and knocks. A minute passes. A small, hunched man opens the door. Bob immediately blurts, “Hello, my name is Bob Hill, and this is my wife Betty. We’ve been in a terrible accident, and my wife has been seriously hurt. Can I please use your phone?”
“I’m sorry,” replied the hunchback, “but we don’t have a phone. My master is a doctor; come in, and I will get him!” Bob brings his wife in. An older man comes down the stairs.
“I’m afraid my assistant may have misled you. I am not a medical doctor; I am a scientist. However, it is many miles to the nearest clinic, and I have had a basic medical training. I will see what I can do. Igor, bring them down to the laboratory.”
With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her downstairs, with Bob following closely. Igor places Betty on a table in the lab. Bob collapses from exhaustion and his own injuries, so Igor places Bob on an adjoining table.
After a brief examination, Igor’s master looks worried. “Things are serious, Igor. Prepare a transfusion.” Igor and his master work feverishly, but to no avail. Bob and Betty Hill are no more.
The Hills’ deaths upset Igor’s master greatly. Wearily, he climbs the steps to his conservatory, which houses his grand piano. For it is here that he has always found solace. He begins to play, and a stirring, almost haunting melody fills the house.
Meanwhile, Igor is still in the lab tidying up. His eyes catch movement, and he notices the fingers on Betty’s hand twitch, keeping time to the haunting piano music. Stunned, he watches as Bob’s arm begins to rise, marking the beat! He is further amazed as Betty and Bob both sit up straight!
Unable to contain himself, he dashes up the stairs to the conservatory.
He bursts in and shouts to his master:
The Hills are alive with the sound of music!”
With school back in session, and a new work schedule, I’ve been knee deep in it!
Tuesdays and Thursdays are my killers, since I go immediately to work right after a full day at school, and spend the rest of the night there! Which usually means I wind up having BK for dinner [#2, Large, with cheese, and a half-sweet tea to drink! No complaints!]
I’ve recently started another blog, centered around finding free, legal downloads for music. The address is [shortlink]: http://wp.me/153vP
I’ll take suggestions via email, or commentS!
It Will Invade Your Home http://ping.fm/KiBNK
A magazine recently ran a ‘Dilbert Quotes’ contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real-life Dilbert-type managers. These were voted the top ten quotes in corporate America :
‘As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks.’ (This was the winning quote from Fred Dales, Microsoft Corp in Redmond WA )
‘What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might encounter.’ (Lykes Lines Shipping)
‘E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business.’ (Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)
‘This project is so important we can’t let things that are more important interfere with it.’ (Advertising/ Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)
‘Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule.’ (Plant Manager, Delco Corporation)
‘No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We’ve been working on it for months. Now go act busy for a few weeks and I’ll let you know when it’s time to tell them.’ (R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/ 3M Corp)
Quote from the Boss: ‘Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say.’ (Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)
My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday. He said,/’That would be better for me.’/ (Shipping executive, FTD Florists)
‘We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees.’ (Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division)
So school starts again for SIU & JALC this week. Since I didn’t do so hot last year, I’m gonna need to focus more on my school work than I did previously. This means essentially I’ll be giving up Facebook for a while. I’ll still check in every once in a while, but I’m pretty much going to be sticking to Twitter (@DvDw2 if you want to follow me.) and MAYBE a couple blog posts here and there. I’m going to need as much concentration as I can get so that I don’t just outright fail this semester and next…
So if you don’t hear from me in a while, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, don’t take it personal. I’m just trying to do better in school! I’m not dissing anyone! Feel free to call or TXT me, but I’m going to ignore anything Facebook until break.
|Six names you may be known as:||“Double-D”; Dave; “Dude”; “Hey, You!”; Bubba; Cletus|
|Three things you are wearing right now:||Pants, Watch, lanyard|
|Three things you want very badly at the moment:||A car, better pay, a wife|
|Two things you did last night:||Work and Sleep|
|Two things you ate yesterday:||Chicken and rolls|
|Four people you talked to on the phone yesterday:||Noone|
|Two things you are going to do tomorrow:||Sleep-in, eat, play a game|
|Four of your favourite beverages:||Pepsi, Dr. P, Coffee, Mt. Dew,|
|1. What is your occupation right now?||Ad Inserter|
|2. What color are your socks right now?||Clear [not wearing any]|
|3. What are you listening to right now?||My A/C unit and some Hard Rock|
|4. What was the last thing that you ate?||My usual breakfast|
|5. Can you drive a stick shift?||I’ve always wanted to learn, but alas…..|
|6. Last person you spoke to on the phone?||Eric Hildebrandt|
|7. Do you like the person who sent this to you?||He’s my Dad. After putting up with all the crap I gave him, I almost have to!|
|8. How old are you today?||28… and climbing…|
|9. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV?||I’d have to go with Hockey|
|10. What is your favorite drink?||I have a few… Mostly coffee drinks.|
|11. Have you ever dyed your hair?||I tried to, but I didn’t do it right. fortunately it had no effect!|
|12. Favorite food?||Mexican|
|13. What is the last movie you watched?||I can’t think of who it was, but I was a sermon.|
|14. Favorite day of the year?||Tie. Turkey Day and Christmas|
|15. How do you vent anger?||It depends on the situation. Video Game: I point my finger at the screen and tell the computer what a cheater it is; Everything else, I usually grumble to myself…|
|16. What was your favorite toy as a child?||Probably my old NES|
|17. What is your favorite season?||It’s a toss-up between Autumn [Colors] and Winter [Snow]|
|18. Cherries or Blueberries?||Blueberries. [Have you ever heard of a
|19. Living arrangements?||Studio apartment on the fourth floor, by myself.|
|20. When was the last time you cried?||almost a year ago….|
|21. What is on the floor of your closet?||Three Dressers, A couple boxes, a chair with some clothes I haven’t unpacked yet sitting on it, a broom, and a couple dead bugs.|
|22. What did you do last night?||But address labels on some “Welcome To SIU” booklets that are getting sent out this week.|
|24. What are you most afraid of?||Being a batchelor for the rest of my life.|
|25. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers?||Can I have spicy and cheese?|
|26. Favorite dog breed?||Dunno. Bulldog I guess….|
|27. Favorite day of the week?||The Day I have off from work.|
|28. How many states have you lived in?||NC, MI, VA, IL. That makes 4.|
|29. Diamonds or pearls?||Compressed coal or oyster puke? I think I’ll go for the diamonds…..|
|X||Been to Europe|
|Been on a cruise|
|Gone on a blind date|
|X||Watched someone die|
|X||Been to Canada|
|Been to Mexico|
|Been to Florida|
|XX||Been on a plane|
|Seen cherry blossoms in Washington D|
|Played cops and robbers|
|Flown a plane|
|owned a boat|
|Watched grandchildren grow|
|Recently colored with crayons|
|Been to the Kentucky Derby|
|Been to Key West|
|Been to a Rodeo|
|Paid for a meal with coins only|
|X||Did something you told yourself you wouldn’t|
|Made prank phone calls|
|Laughed until some kind of Beverage came out of your nose|
|Caught a snowflake on your tongue|
|X||Danced in the rain-or played|
|X||Written a letter to Santa Claus|
|Been kissed under the mistletoe|
|Watched the sunrise with someone special|
|Seen the green flash at sunset|
|XXX||Gone to the movies|
|Owned a convertible|
|Ever been to Hawaii?|
|Ever been to Africa?|
|Ever eaten just cookies for dinner?|
|X||Ever been on TV?|
|X||Ever steal any traffic sign?|
|XX||Ever been in a car accident?|
|X||Ever own a 2-door vehicle?|
Birthday: May 30, 1982
Siblings: 3 brothers
Eye color: Brown
Hair color: Deep Brown
Shoe size: 13
How many piercings: none
Your Heritage: German, Irish, Indian, English…
Where were you born: Jacksonville, NC
Where do you live: Carbondale, IL
Righty or lefty: Right
Can you make a dollar in change right now: Not yet….
Do you Sing: Yes, but rarely in public…
Do you Shower Daily: Unfortunately, I can’t afford the laundry bill for that….
Who are your closest friends: Gayle,
Where is your fave place to shop: Anywhere there’s electronics!
Fave kind of Flower: Tiger Lily
Fave Color: Green
Fave Number: 1
Fave Month: December. I’m a Christmas Junkie!
Finger: My Pinky
Breakfast food: Mama’s Pancakes
Favorite cartoon character: Powerpuff Girls
Given anyone a bath: I’d rather not talk about it…
Eaten a dog: Well, I’ve had Chinese from time to time…
Broken a bone? At least one. My left collarbone.
Played truth or dare: Not that I can recall
Been in a physical fight: …and lost….
Been in a police car: A couple times
Been on a plane: Yup.
Come close to dying: Not really.
Cried when someone died: No. I typically just sit in shock.
Cried in school: No.
Fell off your chair: Yeah…
Have you gone on a date: A couple times.
What’s your good luck charm: My class ring? maybe?
Best song you ever heard: Pink Floyd’s “Wish You Were Here” or Van Halen’s “When It’s Love”
Last thing you said: “Take Care! See you Friday, Freddie!”
What is beside you? a half-open desk drawer on my right, and a trash bucket on my left.
Last thing you ate: Ham and Cheese Sandvitch
Have you had…
Chicken pox: Yeah.
Sore Throat: Frequently
Stitches: Yeah, thanks to my brother, Josh…
Broken nose: No.
Believe in love at first sight: Sure.
Eat a live hamster for $1,000,000 dollars: Uh, No….
What makes you smile? when someone can laugh at my ridiculously dorky sense of humor, and still like me.
Last Person you yelled at: David Zoll. Let’s not go there….
Who has told you that they love you: Alot of people
Who was the last person that called you: I don’t know. They didn’t leave a message.
Who was the last person you slow danced with: It doesn’t count if it was a [day]dream, so noone.
Do you wear contacts or glasses: I try not to, but I can’t find things…
Do you like yourself: Sometimes
Do you get along with your family: Most of the time.
What are you listening to right now? Reliant K – Just Between You and Me [Freaked – A Gotee Tribute]
Have you hated someone in your family: No.
What car do you wish to have: Don’t have one….
Where do you want to get married: Giant City, in the fall.
Are you a good driver: I can get from point A to Point B without a problem, so I’m gonna say yes.
Have a lava lamp: No, but I want one.
How many remote controls are in your house: One. It’s one of those all-in-one deals
Scary or happy movies: Happy. The hero gets the girl, and such….
Who Is the loudest Person/People in your family: My Baby Bro, Caleb.
Chocolate or white chocolate: Swirl.
Mud or Jell-O wrestling: How about Mud-flavored Jello?
Summer or winter: Winter
Diamond or pearl: Pressurized Coal, or Clam puke?
Sunset or Sunrise: Sunset. Sunrise is too early….
Cats or dogs: I’m more of a cat person.
Vanilla or chocolate: Chocolate.
Coffee or tea: Iced Tea in the Summer, Coffee right out of bed.
Phone or in person: In person.
Enjoy the ride – there is no return ticket!
George Carlin ‘s Views on Aging